i was like 16, and i was super closeted. Like, super repressed and wearing, like, skirts, and dresses etc. I had just gotten my license, and I drove myself to target, and I got a 6-pack of Fruit of The Loom boxer briefs. I would wear them under my clothes like this big queer secret.
so, it was like 2012. i was in williamsburg, just walking around. i was HOT. it was, like, august? and this kid hits me up. he’s like — bloop! — and i was like, what’s up? and he was like, do you want to meet up? and i was like, sure! because you know what “meet up” means..
I go to the bathroom to prepare, and im like, wait, this shit smells. So right before he pulls up, im like, i don’t need underwear — even though underwear is also great — i don’t need this underwear. i took it off, threw it in the garbage, and I moved on with my life and had a great night.
so a couple of weeks ago, i had, like, given up all hope of getting this pop up space. I was wandering around soho, wondering what my next step in life would be, and the broker called me and asked me if I still wanted it [because] something had fallen through with the long term renters. i was like, “yes! yes! i’ll take it!”
as soon as I got off the phone, i realized i was wearing my oddobody underwear — it must have been good luck! i texted the girls, and i was like, “im pretty sure this is my lucky underwear.”
I’m so used to just throwing panties in a laundry machine. but these [oddobody], i was hand washing them, and i remembered when i was a kid i would hand wash all my panties. that was a very sacred time. you would hang them all up, and they would dry and that’s just how i did it for years. and now im like why have i been washing my underwear in a laundry machine? it’s like, so rough.
[and then you said you went to your grandma’s?]
oh, so then i went home and i’m thinking about hand washing. and then i notice that there’s just panties all over her bathroom! and it was like, other people have been doing this forever! what happened to make me stop?
I remember in college when thongs was the thing to wear. And so I tried on lots of different kinds of thongs, and realized that only the string kind was comfortable for me. (the kind that was like an inch thick was painful.) And, yknow, that liberation of finding a thong that was comfortable and being to wear thongs all the time. But I remember once I got out of that head set, that thongs are the thing to wear, I realized that thongs are not comfortable, and I am never wearing a thong again.
I massively disappointed this ex-boyfriend of mine with a nice pair of granny panties. So it happened that I grew up in a more conservative town, and sexy lavey underwear was just not a thing. I had just moved to the US from Brazil, I was in my early 20s, and yea, the poor guy was so disappointed. He didn’t even try to hide it, so it didn’t make me feel bad or anything, because I just thought it was really funny. I still think it’s really funny. I’ve definitely upped my game since.
